darknesss_123
30-08-2007, 01:33 PM
How to annoy your parents
1. Follow them around the house..everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Pretend to have amnesia.
4. Say everything backwards.
5. Just keep chanting 'I know a song that will get on your nerves and this is how it goes...
6. Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling "the sun! It's dying!!"
7. Run into walls.
8. Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house in your underwear.
9. Have nervous spasms at anonymous times.
10. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
11. Pretend to worship the Devil.
12. Stand over them at 4 in the morning with a HUGE grin on your face and say "Good morning Sunshine!"
13. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.
14. Run in circles.
15. Recite a whole movie 3 times.
16. Pretend to beat yourself up.
17. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"
18. Slither everywhere.
19. Wear a sticker that says "I'm a retard!"
20. Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist. tell them you're making a fashion statement.
21. Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way.
22. Super glue your finger up your nose.
23. Talk to a pen.
24. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.
25. Lay face down on the floor and chant like an Indian tribe.
26. Try and climb the wall.
27. Spread out on the window and buzz, pretending to be a fly.
28. Take your ice cream cone and put it on your forehead. Say your a lovely unicorn.
29. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.
30. Draw a beard and a monobrow on your face with a permanent marker.
31. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "oh...I get it!"
32. Eat your hair.
33. Whatever they are eating, tell them it looks like a certain animal.
34. Eat anything obviously not edible.
35. Jump off the roof, trying to fly.
36. Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house.
37. Hold their hand and whisper to them "I see dead people."
38. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!!!!"
39. Try and snorkle in your fish tank...
40. Ask them quietly "Pardon me but do you have any.." then yell "SHOELACES!!!!!!"
41. Chase an imaginary tail.
42. Demand that you want your own area code.
43. At everything they say yell "LIAR!!"
44. Pretend to be 376 years old.
45. Hang upside down in your closet.
46. Pretend to be a phone.
47. Try to swim in the floor.
48. Tap on their door all night.
49. Keep saying HAPPY WOMBATS!!! whenever they talk to you.
50. Repeat everything they say to you 58.5 times then laugh hysterically.
13 Hates
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
where my watch is pal, where the **** is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
****ing right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the **** would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people
do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the ****ing
floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the ****?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever ****ing does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No
it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an
image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a
McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have
a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you ****ing McTosser
Things to do in an elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other
passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up,
dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the
elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got
enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours
upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without
getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask
them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open
until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the
bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce:
"I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not
now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say "Oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one
of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say: "Mmmm... tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them, get it wrong.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see
wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
51. Move your desk into the elevator and ask anyone who gets on if they have an appointment.
1. Follow them around the house..everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Pretend to have amnesia.
4. Say everything backwards.
5. Just keep chanting 'I know a song that will get on your nerves and this is how it goes...
6. Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling "the sun! It's dying!!"
7. Run into walls.
8. Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house in your underwear.
9. Have nervous spasms at anonymous times.
10. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
11. Pretend to worship the Devil.
12. Stand over them at 4 in the morning with a HUGE grin on your face and say "Good morning Sunshine!"
13. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.
14. Run in circles.
15. Recite a whole movie 3 times.
16. Pretend to beat yourself up.
17. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"
18. Slither everywhere.
19. Wear a sticker that says "I'm a retard!"
20. Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist. tell them you're making a fashion statement.
21. Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way.
22. Super glue your finger up your nose.
23. Talk to a pen.
24. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.
25. Lay face down on the floor and chant like an Indian tribe.
26. Try and climb the wall.
27. Spread out on the window and buzz, pretending to be a fly.
28. Take your ice cream cone and put it on your forehead. Say your a lovely unicorn.
29. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.
30. Draw a beard and a monobrow on your face with a permanent marker.
31. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "oh...I get it!"
32. Eat your hair.
33. Whatever they are eating, tell them it looks like a certain animal.
34. Eat anything obviously not edible.
35. Jump off the roof, trying to fly.
36. Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house.
37. Hold their hand and whisper to them "I see dead people."
38. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!!!!"
39. Try and snorkle in your fish tank...
40. Ask them quietly "Pardon me but do you have any.." then yell "SHOELACES!!!!!!"
41. Chase an imaginary tail.
42. Demand that you want your own area code.
43. At everything they say yell "LIAR!!"
44. Pretend to be 376 years old.
45. Hang upside down in your closet.
46. Pretend to be a phone.
47. Try to swim in the floor.
48. Tap on their door all night.
49. Keep saying HAPPY WOMBATS!!! whenever they talk to you.
50. Repeat everything they say to you 58.5 times then laugh hysterically.
13 Hates
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
where my watch is pal, where the **** is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
****ing right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the **** would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people
do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the ****ing
floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the ****?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever ****ing does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No
it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an
image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a
McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have
a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you ****ing McTosser
Things to do in an elevator
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other
passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up,
dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the
elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got
enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours
upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without
getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open,
then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask
them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open
until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the
bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce:
"I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not
now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say "Oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one
of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say: "Mmmm... tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them, get it wrong.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see
wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
51. Move your desk into the elevator and ask anyone who gets on if they have an appointment.