Bell1031
31-01-2009, 05:26 AM
Just recently I've noticed that my boyfriend of 3 years prefers the company of guys more so than with me. We met in the most traditional modern day way, through close friends in an upscale club atmosphere. Sparks flew because were the DD for the night. One date turned to two and so on. He was great at everything in the relationship until the last couple of months.
I am confused if 1) he is no longer interested in me or our relationship anymore and 2) he just prefers the company of this one guy in particular (with gay characteristics) at work. He comes from a very conservative family that one uncle who decided to live the gay lifestyle was totally out-casted by the whole Modern Day Conservative Family.
I'm the sort of person who is very open to the natural ways of being human including having closet feelings for the same sex. I think my BF might be in the closet in fears that he does not want to carry the family trait of every 1st male born is gay.
Signs that he is gay:
-We usually are very honest to each, until he booked a 2 week vacay to Asia with his "friend" and told me after he booked the ticket which they ...
> Shared a bed
> Shared a shower
> Shared underwear
> Shared sexual partners (i think)
> Shared everything with
-When I initiate a date, he cancels late minute to go hang out on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday day/nights to be with his "friend". We both work full time and hardly have any time for each other even if we live with each other.
-When I tag along in one of their outings, my BF drives his car as his "friend" sits passenger and I sit in the back.
-When they joke and stare into each other's eyes. He stares at him in a more magical way than he use to stare at me. He just looks soo happy to be with him.
-My BF opens doors for his "friend" and not for me anymore.
-My BF told me that "I'm the girl on the side"
-When I asked my BF who is important in his life. He said the following "My family, my work, his "friend", and me.
-When I told him that I can't be with someone and no longer be their priority. He responded with "I cant change how I am, you should decide if you still want to be with me or not"
-While they were on their vacay, his "friend" didn't mind being intimate with transgenders.
Maybe I am just jealous about the whole ordeal, but I already tried talking about this with him. I already told him that his family fears is far less than actually being happy with yourself in life. I told him that I would still love him for him if he just admitted it openly to me and let me go with dignity. His reaction was in shock and disbelief. He was immediately in denial and did not want to speak to me for a while. Just so many serious issue brought up in our relationship, his way of facing it is with silence, dropping the subject, and ignoring me for a while.
We've talked about marriage and children with each other plenty of times. BUT I don't want to run 10 years down the line to hear that he is gay coming from him. My biggest fear is this, wasting my future on him.
To this day, I just feel empty and need closure to my paranoia. Please confirm my theories.
I am confused if 1) he is no longer interested in me or our relationship anymore and 2) he just prefers the company of this one guy in particular (with gay characteristics) at work. He comes from a very conservative family that one uncle who decided to live the gay lifestyle was totally out-casted by the whole Modern Day Conservative Family.
I'm the sort of person who is very open to the natural ways of being human including having closet feelings for the same sex. I think my BF might be in the closet in fears that he does not want to carry the family trait of every 1st male born is gay.
Signs that he is gay:
-We usually are very honest to each, until he booked a 2 week vacay to Asia with his "friend" and told me after he booked the ticket which they ...
> Shared a bed
> Shared a shower
> Shared underwear
> Shared sexual partners (i think)
> Shared everything with
-When I initiate a date, he cancels late minute to go hang out on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday day/nights to be with his "friend". We both work full time and hardly have any time for each other even if we live with each other.
-When I tag along in one of their outings, my BF drives his car as his "friend" sits passenger and I sit in the back.
-When they joke and stare into each other's eyes. He stares at him in a more magical way than he use to stare at me. He just looks soo happy to be with him.
-My BF opens doors for his "friend" and not for me anymore.
-My BF told me that "I'm the girl on the side"
-When I asked my BF who is important in his life. He said the following "My family, my work, his "friend", and me.
-When I told him that I can't be with someone and no longer be their priority. He responded with "I cant change how I am, you should decide if you still want to be with me or not"
-While they were on their vacay, his "friend" didn't mind being intimate with transgenders.
Maybe I am just jealous about the whole ordeal, but I already tried talking about this with him. I already told him that his family fears is far less than actually being happy with yourself in life. I told him that I would still love him for him if he just admitted it openly to me and let me go with dignity. His reaction was in shock and disbelief. He was immediately in denial and did not want to speak to me for a while. Just so many serious issue brought up in our relationship, his way of facing it is with silence, dropping the subject, and ignoring me for a while.
We've talked about marriage and children with each other plenty of times. BUT I don't want to run 10 years down the line to hear that he is gay coming from him. My biggest fear is this, wasting my future on him.
To this day, I just feel empty and need closure to my paranoia. Please confirm my theories.